Well sir, I'm here to tell you.  It's a fascinating story.  One that you will want to read over and over again.  Alright, you might get through the damn thing once, if you have nothing better to do with your miserable life.

My grandparents, all four of them, migrated to the USA in the beginning of the 20th century.  I believe they were trying to escape the oppression, not to mention the filth, stench and pestilence of Czechoslovakia.  

My parents were born in the USA but were bilingual because the grandfolks did not speak english too good.  So, my parents would talk in Czech if they wanted to keep something from us seven little bastards.  They had pet names for us and occasionally would call me, besides "hey you dumb shit," a word that meant John, my real name, in Czech.  I won't keep you breathless with suspense.  The name sounded something like this:  "Hoonza."

Well, time passes, both of my parents go over the rainbow and my wife, snot-nosed kid and I move to Florida.  Jacksonville.  Home of the real man.  We occasionally return to Cleveland, where we were born and where the somewhat intellectually-challenged branch of our families still live, for reunions and shit like that.

At one of these reunions my brother-in-law Mark, a big boisterous, son-of-a-bitch you gotta love calls me "Hunzy."  Pronounced something like this: "Hunzy."

And "Hunzy" takes on a somewhat new life.  

Well, eventually I take up computers, get addicted to games, surf the web and all that kind of stuff.  To do these cerebral activities you sometimes need a user name and since hell there are probably 25 or 30 guys named John in the world surfing the web, I resurrect Hunzy.

Me, being more clever then I Iook ( I know how to use GOOGLE) I search the web for "Hunzy" and find out its a small town somewhere near the Sino-Russian border.

So there you have it.  Now you can bounce your little heathens on your knee and tell them this story.  Or you can read them Dr. Seuss, which makes infinitely more sense.  Ciao and goodbye.